Roots

     Right now, I guess you can say I have no roots.  I am torn between so many things.  I feel like I don't have time to really settle into things.  I have this feeling that I need to make a lot of decisions, big, important decisions.  However, I am not sure of what the decisions are.  Recently I have felt heavy.  This heaviness doesn't go away.  I have really been trying to remain positive.  If I have a bad day, I tell myself that I need to be optimistic and stop pitying myself.  I have a hard time dealing with those deep down unpleasant feelings.  Lately, these types of feelings are being uncovered and I can't seem to bury them. 
     People have asked me how I am doing.  I always smile and say that I am good.  I am having to learn that it is not ok to be good.  It's ok to have a bad month.  It's ok to tell people that I am not actually ok. 
     This sounds rather silly that I have yet to learn this, doesn't it? 
     Life is still full of good moments.  Those seconds that make you laugh from deep down inside.  Those moments of peace and comfort.  Those simple times of feeling like you can get through anything.  So while life is hard at the moment, it is also very sweet.
     I am glad that hard times are times for learning, crying, and good memories.