Happy Thanksgiving

          I would lie to wish everybody out there a very Happy Thanksgiving and may we remember all of our blessings that we have be forever grateful for them. 
     I have plenty of reasons to be thankful for this holiday season and I would just like to take the time to name a couple of them.
     I am thankful for my family...this includes my wife, my daughter (without them I would not be who I am today), my parents, my nieces and nephews, my in-laws, and my brother and sister in-laws.
     I am thankful to have finally achieved my Associate's Degree.  It was a long hard three years of attending classes online but it was worth it.  Next summer I get to step back inside a real classroom and I cannot wait.
     I am thankful for anyone and everyone who has ever helped me along the way and who has been my friend.  Everyone of you will always have a special place in my heart and I will never forget anyone of you.
     I am thankful for Jesus Christ and the atoning sacrifice he made on the cross.  Through this I know I can return to live in his presence once again.
     I am thankful for my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (www.lds.org).  Through his restored church we can learn about him and learn how to return to live with him once again.  We can all learn about the Plan of Salvation.
     I am thankful for Fred Meyer. (www.fredmyer.com) Even though I have only been employed there for 6 months, I have made some wonderful friends and this is the best job I have had since moving to Alaska.
     There are plenty of more things that I have to be thankful for in my life, but this is just a few of them.

A Life Update and Associate's Degree

     It has been a while since I last updated this blog.  I did not forget about it, as I try to update it once a month.  Life just seems to get in the way with work, school, and my 8 month old precious daughter.  Here is a update on my life so far.  At the end of September our stake created new boundaries for our wards (I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, http://www.mormon.org) and a whole new ward was created which my family and I are now a part of.  It is very exciting to be a part of a new ward to see it literally being built from the ground up.  I even received a calling, as I am the Elders Quorum Secretary. 
    
     My family life is going great, as I love being a father.  Becoming a father is the greatest blessing that I could have ever received.  My daughter has a wonderful spirit about her and she is my pride and joy. 

     As for the other big news...In a few weeks I will be finished with University of Phoenix.  Finally after three long years I will have earned my associates degree.  I never thought that I would ever accomplish this in my life, however with the encouragement and love of my wife this will be accomplished, providing that I pass my final class.  Then it is off to University of Alaska-Anchorage to finish my degree.

Roots

     Right now, I guess you can say I have no roots.  I am torn between so many things.  I feel like I don't have time to really settle into things.  I have this feeling that I need to make a lot of decisions, big, important decisions.  However, I am not sure of what the decisions are.  Recently I have felt heavy.  This heaviness doesn't go away.  I have really been trying to remain positive.  If I have a bad day, I tell myself that I need to be optimistic and stop pitying myself.  I have a hard time dealing with those deep down unpleasant feelings.  Lately, these types of feelings are being uncovered and I can't seem to bury them. 
     People have asked me how I am doing.  I always smile and say that I am good.  I am having to learn that it is not ok to be good.  It's ok to have a bad month.  It's ok to tell people that I am not actually ok. 
     This sounds rather silly that I have yet to learn this, doesn't it? 
     Life is still full of good moments.  Those seconds that make you laugh from deep down inside.  Those moments of peace and comfort.  Those simple times of feeling like you can get through anything.  So while life is hard at the moment, it is also very sweet.
     I am glad that hard times are times for learning, crying, and good memories.

Regrets

     I have been thinking about what to update this blog with for the last few days now, as apparently I missed my update last month.  I want to go over some of the regrets I have been thinking about over the course my life.

1.  Not staying active in the church.  I believe my not staying active in the church did leave to me eventually leaving and not gaining a full testimony of the restored gospel, which also lead me to my next regret:
2.  Not serving a mission.  My wife served a mission and she absolutely loved her mission in Brazil.  I wish I had that type of experience in my life so that I could have helped spread the work of the kingdom on the earth.  Also, a mission is a growing experience which I think is something that I still need in my life right now.  I try to do all I can with my calling as a ward missionary and to support our local missionaries who are serving in our ward.  But still, I think back and wonder what might have been?
3.  Arizona.  I lived in Arizona for a while in 2004, and still consider it one of the best times of my life and  my favorite place to be.  I will not get into full detail about my experience there and how much I screwed up, but I will always look back with fond memories of a wonderful place with some great memories in my heart.
4.  Education.  I regret not starting my education sooner in life.  I have always wanted to be a teacher, hopefully I can make this happen.
5.  Paying attention in school.  I wish I would have paid more attention in school, if I did who knows where I might be today.
6.  Navy.  I regret not going into the Navy after I graduated.  I could have gained a world class experience and school could have been paid for.  I chickened out, and my recruiter never got me my waiver he promised me.  That is another story for another time.
7.  Not being a righteous priesthood holder.  I will not go into full details here, but I have done some things in my life that I am not proud of like everyone has, but I am trying to fix these mistakes.

     These are just some of the regrets I have in my life.  I am sure I can think of plenty more, but I do not want to make a really long blog post.

Planning

     Here I sit again at my computer updating my little blog in the big world wide web.  I have so many hopes, so many dreams that I want to accomplish with my life, sometimes I question how do I go about getting this accomplished?  Do I take Plan A, or do I take Plan B.  Perhaps I take a different path, one that is not quite so obvious. 
  
     I have flirted with doing other things with my life, taking other routes with different careers, besides what I am currently majoring in.  The fact is, it all comes down to my dream of becoming a school teacher since I was in the third grade.  Lets face it, there is nothing else that I really want to do with my life, except spend the rest of my life in school.  What that means is obtaining my education and then teaching. 

     However, there are other aspects with my life that I am currently unhappy with.  How do I go about changing them?  Hopefully, time will tell.

Fatherhood

     What is it like to be a father?  The words to express how I feel since my daughter has been born cannot be born.  The look my daughter gives me when she smiles at me, or when I look into her blue eyes just melt my heart.  When she is crying, I want to do everything I can to help her.  From being hungry, to when she has an upset tummy, as her father it is my job to help her. 
  
     I want to do my duty as a father to guide my daughter to the best of my ability.  From the time she is born, until the day she gets married and starts her own family.  To her education, to hopefully her mission, I want to be able to give my daughter everything I never had.  This begins by guiding her on the path to return to Heavenly Father and myself getting my education so I as her father can provide for her and her mother. 

     I love my daughter and my wife, and I want to give them both the world.

Major Changes

     I am sorry for the lack of updates lately over the last few months.  I know that I try to at least update this blog one time a month, but a lot has been happening in my life lately.  I will not go into all of the specific details about what has transpired, as this is going to be a pretty short post.  The biggest change is about to happen in just about 12 hours as I sit here and write this blog post.  My daughter is going to be born.  I know for myself this is a very scary thought as I never envisioned myself becoming a parent.  The truth is, when I was younger I never wanted to have children, I had no desire to have any.  It is funny how I look back now and wonder how I ever had that feeling, as now I do want children.  I want someone to carry on my name, people I can have carry on family traditions, sand to rear and raise in a righteous way.  I am so nervous that I am going to be a father, I literally have all kinds of questions running through my head right now.  I know I just need to toss those questions out of my head and do not let the adversary stand in my way and try and raise my children with the help of my wife, and Jesus Christ.

"The most important work you will ever do in this life will be within the walls of your home."  Harold B. Lee